The Weakest Link: Sailor Moon Style
by StarMoonBunny
Summary: Very Very Silly and Pointless...


StarMoon*Bunny  
  
Ok, I've decided to take a less serious tone with my writing....Uh  
Very Very UNserious.... ^-^  
  
  
The Weakest Link...Sailor Moon Style!  
  
**********  
  
Evil Looking Neo Usagi: It's time to play the Weakest Link! Now you have a chance to win   
{Dr. Evil thing} 1 Million Dollars...{looks strange then returns to normal} *ahem* let's  
introduece our contestens.  
  
Usagi: Tuskino Usagi, 16 Queen of the world.  
  
Ami: Muzino Ami,16 Super Brain walking dictionary lady! {Evil smile}  
  
Rei: Hino Rei, 16 Shriner...  
  
Neo Usagi: Your a person who rides around in a little car?  
  
Rei: No...*???*   
  
Makoto: Kino Makoto...uhhhh LINE!!  
  
Neo Usagi: This isn't your rehersal, you don't have lines...  
  
Makoto: I know that you M&$#&% F$%&%^  
  
Neo Usagi: Yes....{Glances left and right}  
  
Minako: Aino Minako, 16 and Perfect!  
  
Makoto: Shut up, you little F^## B$%^#  
  
Minako: Make me, *%^&%  
  
Makoto: {Dives for Minako and both leave punching and kicking each other.}  
  
Neo Usagi: I guess I'll have to bring in the fillers...  
  
{Haruka and Michiru walk in}  
  
Seiya: Hell no! Not them!!!  
  
Neo Usagi: Deal with it He/she  
  
Usagi: Please, let us get through this....Ami's freaking out!  
  
{Ami is foaming at the mouth as is Taiki}  
  
Haruka: Tehou Haruka, 17 and here to kick some ass!  
  
Michiru: Language, Haruka Language...  
  
Haruka: Shut up M&$%&# F#^$&%  
  
Michiru: Neptune Planet Power Make Up! Deep Submerge!  
  
{Both fall to the floor dead..}  
  
Neo Usagi: Security!! I guess you dumbasses have a better chance of winning now...  
  
Seiya: Kou Seiya, 16 proffessional singer.  
  
Yaten: Try washed up J-pop star.  
  
Seiya:{holds up brush}   
I'll wack you upside the head with this brush and it'll alllll make sense, snowball!  
  
Neo Usagi: {singsong voice} Can we please wrap this introduction up?   
I have some great lines to say to humilate you!  
  
Yaten: Kou Yaten, 16 Lead of the Band the Three lights.  
  
Seiya: Hey! I sing lead and you know it!  
  
Yaten: Yeah, but you didn't put it down on your little paper! HA HA!  
  
{Seiya looks at Neo Usagi for confermation.}  
  
Neo Usagi: He did put it down and you didn't....   
But since your cute and he's not, I'll give you the benifit of the doubt.  
Yaten, you are the weakest link...Goodbye.  
  
Yaten: But-But I didn't even answer anything wrong!!  
  
Neo Usagi: Yes. I know. But you lied....   
So cry me a river, build me a bridge, and get over it... Girlfriend..  
{does that snappy 'Whatever' pose thing}  
  
{Security drags Yaten out kicking and screaming.}  
  
Neo Usagi:I now present our fill in... Mamoru.  
  
Usagi: Mamo-chan!  
  
{Seiya looks heartbroken}  
  
Mamoru:{hyper overly cheerleader voice} Like, Hi and stuff!  
  
Seiya: Gimmie a break...  
  
All: Gimmie a break, Gimmie a break, break me off a piece of that kit-kat bar!  
  
Seiya: No comment...  
  
Neo Usagi: Let's begin....  
  
Taiki: but I didn't intoduce myself!  
  
Neo Usagi: Cry me a river, build me a bridge, and get over it...Girlfriend...  
{Does snappy thing again}  
{Taiki wimpers}  
  
Neo Usagi: Shut up! Ponytail Forhead Uterus Boy!  
{Clears throat}  
  
Neo Usagi: Let's Begin... Start the clock!  
Usagi, who was the first president of the United States?  
  
Usagi: George Washington-  
  
Neo Usagi: Corr-  
  
Usagi: Carver!  
  
Neo Usagi: No, Screw head! Ami, How do you find the volume of a Cylinder?  
  
Ami: Pi R Square!  
  
Rei: No, Pie are round... Jeeze Ami...  
  
Neo Usagi: {Slaps hand to head} Mamoru,   
The attack on Pearl Harbor lead what country into WWII?  
  
Mamoru: {Filing nails} Hmmm? Oh me? {points at self} Like, Tokyo?  
  
Neo Usagi: NO dunderhead! Do you have sawdust for brains?  
  
Mamoru: {thinks for moment} Uhh like, No...talk to the hand! pssshcha!  
  
Seiya: {turns to Usagi} What DO you see in him?  
  
Usagi: I don't know...but he's like soooo gone after this round....  
  
Neo Usagi: Rei, What popular comic book made by Stan Lee,   
was made into a movie in the year 2000?  
  
Rei: Oh! Oh! I know this!! That move has that hot Aussie guy in it,   
Hugh Jackman...Mmmm... Damn. That boy is fine... Oh Yeah.... X-men!  
  
Mamoru: Like, what about me?  
  
Seiya: For God's sake man! If you say 'like' in a sentence one more time...  
I'll hit you so hard that you'll be able to watch me kick you sad little padded ass!  
  
Mamoru: Like, have a cow man...pssshcha!  
  
Seiya: AHHHHH! {strangles Mamoru hard}  
  
Usagi: {jumps up and down} Whahoo! {looks around quickly}   
I mean.... Oh no Mamo-chan! Poor sweet Mamo-chan!  
  
Neo Usagi: Mamo-chan, Shmamo-chan... You know that you've been not-so-nice Usagi...  
{smiles evily}  
  
Usagi: {increadibly nevous look on face} Whatever do you mean? {clipped short words}  
  
Neo Usagi: Let's just say that Mamoru isn't the only one you've been sleeping with....  
  
Crowd: Oooooohhhh!  
  
Seiya: {looks at Neo Usagi} You mean there's more? {looks at Usagi}  
  
Neo Usagi: {Smiles evily once more} There you have it folks....  
  
Crowd: Oooooooohhhhhhhhh!  
  
Seiya: {blushes looks nevous} No... {points to self}   
Me? No, I'm not sleeping with Odango!  
  
Neo Usagi: Then why don't you take a look at the Weakest Link Cam...  
  
Mamoru: {Struggles from floor}   
You are like, soooo ripping off Jerry Springer!  
{falls over again[more like pushed by Seiya]}  
  
{Cut from Episode, because of content....yeah, yeah,complain all you want Perverts... Leave Seiya and Usagi to do their  
dirty business...}  
  
Seiya: That is so NOT me!  
  
Usagi: Then who the hell called 'Odango' like it was the only word in the Dictionary?   
{Gives him 'I know you did look'}  
  
Mamoru: {on the verge of tears}   
I'm like, sooo over you Usako... all you did was give me split ends and I could like not  
mostuireize because of you...{ Stomps from room}  
  
Neo Usagi:{holding popcorn}{sighs} Finally that bone-head is gone...   
jeeze I thought he'd NEVER leave...Couldn't "Mostirize"?  
God, what a fruit....   
Anyway, time to bring in the New replacement...Chibi-usa?   
Bleah... I don't like her so I'll bring out  
the alterneat.  
  
Ami: Technically, She wouldn't exist since Usagi had been in the Sack with Seiya...  
  
Rei: Shut up! It's not like I couldn't see it coming...So was he better than Mamoru?  
  
Usagi: Does {moans loudly} sum it up for you?  
  
Seiya: {Looking at floor sounding angrier by the minute}   
If I wanted to be exposed to the media like Oprah on a eating binge,   
I'd go to the tabloids!!  
  
Taiki:{reading 'The Inquirer'} Wow! I didn't know that Ami's really a robot...   
and I am too?? Overload! {head explodes}  
  
Neo Usagi: Finally, he's gone! Ponytail Forhead Uterus Boy! Yesssss!  
  
Ami: Did he say that I was one too? {Neo Usagi nodds} Overload! {head also explodes}  
  
Neo Usagi: Finally, the intelligent ones are gone.   
You jerks and dumbasses finally have a chance.... Annoucing the fill ins  
of Luna, Artimis, and Diana  
  
Rei: Your filling in their spots with cats? What kind of show is this?!  
  
Neo Usagi: My show!! {laughs evily} By the way in that round you banked NOTHING...pa-leeze!  
What village needs it's idot back? But now it's time to vote off the weakest link...  
  
  
Annoucer Guy: Ami was technically the strongest link   
and every single other person the weakest...but will the votes follow the truth?  
  
Neo Usagi: You also failed voting...   
so now instead of being a democratic Weakest Link I AM THE SUPREME RULER OF THE WEAKEST  
LINK! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...  
  
{Five minutes later}  
  
Neo Usagi: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Luna: May we please move on, your majesty?  
  
Neo Usagi: Alright... Start the clock. Usagi, What is the capital of Japan?  
  
Usagi: Tokyo?  
  
Neo Usagi: OH MY GOD you got it right!!!   
Mark this day on the calander! Praise the lord! Can I get an Amen?  
  
All: AMEN BROTHER, AMEN!  
  
Neo Usagi: Luna, what is 1 and 1 and 1 and 1 and 1 and 1 and 1 and 1 and  
1 and 1 and 1 and 1?  
  
Luna: {counting in head} Uhhh...12?  
  
Neo Usagi: HEAVENS TO BETSY! Can I get another 'Amen'?  
  
All: AMEN BROTHER, AMEN!  
  
Neo Usagi: Seiya, What popular song made it to the top of the charts in Japan,   
but never took it's success to the U.S.?  
  
Seiya: RIVER BANK!  
  
Neo Usagi: Too late.   
But I can give you a complementary box of Irish Soap.   
Irish Soap, ahhh now that's good clean....Drinking?  
Drinking?   
Is that right? You DRINK soap?   
Yuck... The person who made that up is the Weakest Link....Goodbye.  
  
Seiya: Uh ok then I'll answer the question... Negiborishi Ne?  
  
Neo Usagi: {Throws arms into air} For the Love of peanuts!   
That's right! Can I get another 'Amen'?  
  
All: AMEN BROTHER, AMEN!!  
  
Neo Usagi: Artimis,   
  
Artimis: SNOW BANK!!!  
  
Neo Usagi: What animal has been captivated for nearly 4000 years?  
  
Artimis: Hello Kitty!  
  
Neo Usagi: {looks behind her} I guess we can exept that... You got it right!   
Can I get an Amen?  
  
All: AMEN BROTHER, AMEN !!  
  
End round bell: DEWED DEWD DEE, BOEMP BOEMP BING BOEMP  
  
Neo Usagi: This is the end of the last round....  
  
Usagi: But I thought that thsi game was seven rounds long?  
  
Neo Usagi: Becoming Surpreme Ruler of the Weakest Link,   
it has suddenly hit me, the 7 rounds are too long so I say...   
seven the number, you are the Weakest Link... Good-bye.  
  
Seiya: So... Your majesty, Who's the Weakest Link? {scratches head}  
  
Neo Usagi: Hmmmm....this decicion making is difficult...Diana.  
  
Diana: What? Why? You didn't even ask me a question!!  
  
Neo Usagi: You weren't paying attention, that's why I didn't ask you  
and your voice is annoying. So... You are the Weakest Link...Goodbye!  
  
Diana: {being dragged away} Nooooooooo!  
  
Neo Usagi: Take her to the Rutabega Patch!!  
  
All: Huh??  
  
Neo Usagi: I just can't have them walk away scot free, can I?  
  
Luna: How will you decide who wins if there isn't 5 more rounds?  
  
Neo Usagi: What do you think about Mud Wrestling?  
It goes like this the weakest in the round is faced by the second weakest,   
then whoever winsgoes on to wrestle the 2nd strongest,   
then whoever wins wrestles the strongest link and whoever wins that get the  
grand prize of whatever you win in the first two rounds, doubled.  
  
Usagi: Who is fighting who here?  
  
Neo Usagi: {Wips out presentation board} It goes like so...  
Luna vs. Usagi  
Rei vs. -----  
Artimis vs. -----  
Seiya vs. -----  
  
Usagi: You want me to weastle Seiya?! He's like...ten times stronger than me plus,   
he's a guy now!  
  
Seiya: Watch it, or you'll be kissing the floor before you can say   
'supercalafragalisticexpealadocious'...  
  
Rei: Who said your going to get that far?   
Besides, all you have to do is wink at him and you'll win...  
  
Seiya: Never will I crumble at a wink from Odango... I'm not that weak!  
  
Usagi: OH YEAH?? {winks and blows him a kiss}  
  
Seiya: *thud* {falls to floor instantly with heart in his eyes muttering 'Odango...'}  
  
Neo Usagi: {lifts Usagi's hand into the air}   
Winner of the $ 72.33 and a back rub from Seiya!  
  
Usagi: {Crying} I'd like to thank the Acadamy, and my beautiful god given face!   
You like me... You really really like me!!  
  
Neo Usagi: Goodbye from the...{bongo music} The Weakest Link... {twighlight zone music plays in   
the background as Usagi and Seiya makeout on stage and Rei steals soccer trophy given to Usagi  
and Luna and Artimis square dance.  
  
********  
  
The End! {OR IS IT???} 


End file.
